The meaning of 'Checked Out'
It is a person's right to end the marriage.
That statement alone is the biggest form of injustices a person can experience and is very much allowed today. My marriage didn't end on either of us committing adultery, being physically or violently abusive, or any addiction - my marriage ended simply for one reason - my wife checked out and couldn't try to love me anymore. Her love for me was so low that she didn't even want to try counselling.
It took me a long time to understand - what does 'checked out' mean and if any other husband or wife is experiencing this - here's what I can try to describe it as best as I can. It's as if you don't exist anymore - your presence is the sign and reminder of hatred by your spouse, the mere mention of your name or anything baring you - makes them cringe. They've moved on in life - a life that has no connection with you. It's as if the world's population has lost one person - YOU. As strange as it sounds - this is what it is - and it's one of the worst forms of justices that has been ordained by law on a person. Because...
"It's a person's right to end their marriage"
Why do I take so much weight on this? Well if a marriage has to take place - it takes two people to get married - yet it only takes one person to end the marriage. It's true, it's an injustice - but it's their right. As hard as that is to digest - it's something I've had to accept after so many years.
For those going through it - I do sympathize with you - it's the most hardest thing for you to go through - I hope to share my journey to help those inflicted with this problem to heal and grow.
Here are a few things I learned
As hard as it is - try to keep your feelings of your spouse / ex to yourself. The mother of our children - would proudly communicate with her lawyer, friends, or family as 'ex' when referring to me even though we weren't divorced yet. I let it go - as a fact is a fact - we were married and there is nothing in this world that she can do to change that. When we are ex-spouses - we are are ex-spouses. On another note on that - I choose not to call her my ex-wife - as there is some connotation of her being a wife. Instead - I would prefer to call her 'the mother of our children' or 'the mother'. I believe it's very respectful to another human being.
That statement alone is the biggest form of injustices a person can experience and is very much allowed today. My marriage didn't end on either of us committing adultery, being physically or violently abusive, or any addiction - my marriage ended simply for one reason - my wife checked out and couldn't try to love me anymore. Her love for me was so low that she didn't even want to try counselling.
It took me a long time to understand - what does 'checked out' mean and if any other husband or wife is experiencing this - here's what I can try to describe it as best as I can. It's as if you don't exist anymore - your presence is the sign and reminder of hatred by your spouse, the mere mention of your name or anything baring you - makes them cringe. They've moved on in life - a life that has no connection with you. It's as if the world's population has lost one person - YOU. As strange as it sounds - this is what it is - and it's one of the worst forms of justices that has been ordained by law on a person. Because...
"It's a person's right to end their marriage"
For those going through it - I do sympathize with you - it's the most hardest thing for you to go through - I hope to share my journey to help those inflicted with this problem to heal and grow.
Here are a few things I learned
As hard as it is - try to keep your feelings of your spouse / ex to yourself. The mother of our children - would proudly communicate with her lawyer, friends, or family as 'ex' when referring to me even though we weren't divorced yet. I let it go - as a fact is a fact - we were married and there is nothing in this world that she can do to change that. When we are ex-spouses - we are are ex-spouses. On another note on that - I choose not to call her my ex-wife - as there is some connotation of her being a wife. Instead - I would prefer to call her 'the mother of our children' or 'the mother'. I believe it's very respectful to another human being.
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