Adjusting to a life from 100% Dad to 100% Parent

One of the things that hit me was how I've moved from the role of a 'father' to a 'parent' with my children.  When the children are with me - I realize that I'm with them 100% and then I need to switch myself off completely as a parent when they are with their mom.  Contrast this to being a 100% father all the time - I now find myself teetering tottering as a parent at lightening speed and putting the brakes on completely.  

 Trying to cope with that transition is hard - as I'm constantly transitioning (100% parent, 0% parent, 100% parent, 0% parent, etc.) versus trying to keep myself at a steady improvement as a father (all the time 100% of the time).  

 I try to pre-plan life with them whilst they are not with me - that does pose its own challenges as I work full-time - and it's generally hard not to miss them.  Here are a few things I try and do while I don't have the children with me (and if anybody can advise me more that would be great!): 

  • Grocery shopping - yes!  A small thing but it lets me plan out the children's meals including school lunches.
  • Laundry - this includes folding everything and putting it away - as this allows the children to just walk in and be comfortable with their 'other' home
  • Cleaning - I feel a clean home is a welcoming home for them - I try not to be too uptight with them on the cleanliness but it allows me to not worry about it while they are with me. 
  • Meeting friends and socializing - this is a MUST for me - as hard as a break-up is - it thrusts you to a new world - you may lose friends and may need to make new ones.  It does become hard to manage friends who you both shared - and then I did need to move on and meet other single Dad's. 
The verdict is still out for me on this - time will tell how well I can adjust to this! 

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